Why Paying Kids for Self-Care Is Controversial
In a recent Parents.com article on a growing trend among families, some parents are beginning to financially reward their children for activities traditionally considered self-care — like reading, exercising, and practicing musical instruments. The intention is often to cultivate positive habits and autonomy, but many mental health professionals question whether this approach may send the wrong message.
Why Paying Kids for Self-Care Is Controversial
According to data cited in the article, children completed millions of “self-care chores” in 2025, including reading and exercise tasks, with families paying out hundreds of millions in allowances. While this might seem like a creative way to encourage healthy behaviors, experts warn that it may unintentionally shift children’s motivation from internal enjoyment to external reward — something that can undermine long-term self-development.
Insights from Dr. Emma Basch, PsyD
Dr. Emma Basch* — a licensed clinical psychologist — was quoted in the article expressing concern that tying self-care to allowance “dilutes the concept” of what these activities mean for children. She explains that when kids are paid to care for themselves, it can blur the idea that self-care is a form of respect and wellbeing, not a task that earns money.
Dr. Basch emphasizes that true self-care is something we engage in because it feels good and nurtures us, not because there’s a financial payoff. When children learn to associate positive behaviors solely with rewards, they might be less likely to continue these behaviors independently as they grow.
What Parents Can Do Instead
Experts suggest alternatives that help children build healthy habits without putting a dollar value on them. These include:
Verbal praise and specific feedback when kids practice good habits.
Privileges or family rewards that feel meaningful but not transactional.
Open conversations about goals and values, such as saving toward something special rather than getting paid per activity.
This approach helps children appreciate the inherent benefits of activities like reading, mindfulness, and physical activity instead of seeing them as “tasks worth money.”
A Balanced Perspective
Whether or not you choose to financially reward certain behaviors in your home is ultimately a parental decision. However, understanding the psychological effects of incentives — especially on motivation and self-worth — can help you make more informed choices about how best to support your child’s growth.