Navigating the Two-Week Wait

Whether someone has tried to conceive via intercourse, insemination, IVF, or other assistive reproductive technology, the “two-week” wait is a ubiquitous part of the modern-day pregnancy experience. This is the time between our “fertile window” (the time when our bodies can get pregnant) and either a period or a positive pregnancy test. Technology allows us to estimate with a high degree of accuracy the timing of ovulation, which can be very beneficial to people who are trying to conceive. At the same time, having this knowledge means we also know we have two weeks to wait before we will know whether or not our attempts have been successful. 

As a practice specializing in infertility and reproductive mental health, supporting clients through the “two-week” wait is a frequent part of our work. While we cannot speed up time, we do have some suggestions for clients who are trying to manage the stress and uncertainty of this time. 

1. Practice Self-Compassion: 

   Waiting is hard, especially when we are waiting for something that feels so important. Acknowledging the challenges associated with this and encouraging self-kindness can be a helpful way of managing difficult feelings that arise during the two-week wait. Using the framework of Kristin Neff’s Self-Compassion Break, try the following: 

• Recognize the difficulty of the situation:

  • Mindfully name how you are feeling. You might say to yourself something like “Waiting is hard,” or “this is uncomfortable,” or “this hurts.” 

• Acknowledge the common humanity in your experience:

  • While we often feel alone in suffering, it is a part of life for everyone. Reminding ourselves of this can be powerful. Telling yourself “everyone feels this way sometimes” or “other people are waiting now, too” can help ground us in the idea that even when we feel alone, we are not. 

• Offer yourself kindness:

  • Think about what you might need in the moment and how you might give that to yourself. This might sound like “May I be patient with myself” or “May I be kind to myself.” 

2. Remember that things are out of your hands now:

Many people work hard to cultivate a sense of control in their lives, which can feel empowering and grounding. At the same time, when we hold ourselves responsible for things we cannot control, it can lead to unnecessary anxiety, shame, and blame. The truth is that there is nothing you can do during this time period to increase your chances of conceiving or to speed up the passage of time. Reminding yourself periodically, “this wait is hard, and I have done what I can,” can be a helpful way to take some pressure off yourself. 

3.Take care of your body:

Now, as we said above, there’s nothing you can really do during this time to increase the chances of a healthy pregnancy. However, you can still show appreciation and care for your body while you wait. Getting enough sleep, nourishing your body, and moving in ways that feel good to you can all support your mental and physical health while you wait.  

4. Try to avoid unnecessary checking: 

During this time period, we can feel like we are missing out on vital information if we’re not checking symptoms online, counting down the days, or taking pregnancy tests super early. As much as possible, don’t lean into the desire to go down the Reddit rabbit hole of early pregnancy symptoms or take pregnancy tests well before your expected period. While these actions can seem to offer reassurance in the moment, excessive checking often results in more anxiety than we felt before, especially if the results of our checking feel disappointing or inconclusive. 

5. Give yourself something else to focus on:

It would be naive to suggest that a distraction will keep you from feeling any stress as you wait for this time to pass. At the same time, giving yourself a new task or project to focus your attention on can provide a much-needed diversion when the desire to consult Dr. Google strikes. Is there a new recipe you’ve been wanting to try? A game you could learn with your partner? A craft that you’ve wanted to pick up? Something that can occupy your time and energy while you wait can provide a bit of a reprieve during this time. 

While there is no perfect strategy for getting through the uncertainty and anxiety of the “two-week” wait, we hope that these tips make it just a little easier. If you feel like you could use more support navigating the wait, we are here at Dr. Emma Basch & Associates can help. Reach out at anytime for support or to learn more about how therapy for infertility and perinatal concerns can help.