Most couples have tried to get pregnant for at least 6 months, if not a year or more, before they find themselves talking to a fertility specialist. They have been through months of trying, hoping, wishing, and waiting. And while these couples are probably very familiar with the notorious “two-week wait” that comes between ovulation and taking a pregnancy test, they may not realize that seeing a specialist can also come with a lot of additional testing, trying, and waiting.

At our practice, we provide fertility support and counseling to clients at all stages of their fertility journey. We often see folks who are working on tolerating the wait that can come with additional testing and treatment involved in resolving infertility. This time can feel overwhelming and unbearably long, especially when couples have already spent so much time and emotional energy on the fertility process.

While we, unfortunately, cannot make this time move faster, we do have suggestions for how to navigate the waiting periods of fertility treatment.

6 Ways to Support Yourself Through Infertility Treatment

1. Find Support That Helps You Feel Less Alone

Going through infertility can be an isolating experience, especially if you do not have people in your circle who can relate. Finding a therapist, support group, social media space, or another outlet where you can be honest and connect about your experience can help make the wait more tolerable. You may also find that you have friends and family who have been through infertility; this may be a time when you can connect meaningfully with those people for support.

2. Communicate in Ways That Feel Comfortable for You

There is no “right way” to talk about this kind of challenge. Some people might be open with others about their experience, while others may not. Especially if you have friends and family members who know about your process, it is natural for them to be curious about what is going on. However, that doesn’t mean you have to discuss the process or tell them anything more than you’re comfortable with. “I don’t want to talk about it” or “let’s talk about something else” are totally acceptable things to say to loved ones.

3. Remember that it’s OK to shut down the suggestion mill

People with fertility challenges are often subjected to suggestions and commentary from those outside the process. While well-meaning, these comments are usually unhelpful and sometimes hurtful. It is OK to tell folks “that’s for me to discuss with my doctor” or “thanks, but I’ve got that covered.” Just because people are well-meaning doesn’t mean that you have to engage with their input.

4. Set Boundaries Around Baby-Related Events

One challenging thing about fertility treatment is that it often comes at a time of life where friends and family are welcoming babies themselves.

While dealing with infertility, you may find it difficult to go to baby-centric events like baby showers or first birthday parties. It also might be hard for you to celebrate the pregnancy announcements or birth announcements of friends or family members. It is OK to give yourself time and space and disengage from these events. For example, you may find you want to send a gift or meal, but not meet the baby or attend a baby shower. Do what works for you.

5. Create Things to Look Forward To Outside Fertility Treatment

The fertility process can take over your life so entirely that it becomes all you can think about or focus on. Where you can, give yourself other things in life that you can also focus on as you wait out this difficult period. Maybe this means taking up a new hobby, trying something new at work, or planning a trip; giving yourself other areas of life to focus on can help you navigate this time.

6. Stay connected to your partner

If you are going through this process with a partner, make sure you continue to nurture your relationship. Infertility can be a trying time for relationships; it can affect our intimate lives, feelings of connection to our partner, and feelings about ourselves. Make sure that you and your partner continue to enjoy time together and connect over things other than your fertility struggles. You may find that your partnership would benefit from support for couples experiencing fertility challenges.

Closing Thoughts

Navigating infertility can be a long process full of twists and turns. While we know we cannot make time move any faster, we hope that with support and connection, you can make it through this time with more ease. If you need support while you navigate the wait, reach out here.

Author

About Dr. Jillian Neill | Washington, DC Perinatal Psychologist

Dr. Jillian Neill is a licensed psychologist in Washington, DC who specializes in fertility counseling, perinatal mental health, anxiety, and supporting individuals navigating complex life transitions. She brings warmth, clarity, and deep compassion to her work, helping clients feel understood and supported through one of the most emotionally challenging experiences of their lives.

Dr. Neill is currently accepting new clients and welcomes individuals and couples seeking support during any stage of the fertility journey.

Navigating the Wait: 6 Ways to Support Yourself Through Infertility