How to Avoid the New Year’s Resolution Trap: A Washington DC Therapist’s Guide

It’s that time of year again. The end of the year brings holiday cheer, and with it New Year’s Resolutions. It’s a lovely intention – reflecting on the year before, committing to positive change, turning over a new leaf as the calendar turns. And yet, research suggests that only 25% of people stick to their resolutions. It’s so easy to blame yourself when you don’t stick to a goal, but in my opinion, this is the New Year’s Resolution Trap. 

Why New Year’s Resolutions Often Fail

Let’s reframe things from the other perspective. Should we really expect that by picking a magical date and commanding ourselves to achieve lofty goals, we are going to succeed, particularly during one of the most stressful times of the year? Of course not. This is the setup of New Year's resolutions, and like I often say, instead of beating yourself up, let’s point the finger at the bad guy here. Hint: it’s not you.

This New Year's, don’t set yourself up for failure and the disappointment and self-blame that can follow. If you like the practice of setting resolutions, here are ten simple strategies to help you set reasonable and achievable goals, stick with them, and feel good about the changes you are making.

10 Therapist-Recommended Strategies to Keep Your New Year Resolutions

1.Be Clear on Your “Why”

Make sure whatever goal you set actually aligns with your values. I find that patients often set arbitrary goals, or goals they think they “should” set, rather than working on what matters to them.

2. Start Now Instead of Waiting for January

Why wait until Jan 1st? Postponing the “effective date” of your resolution won’t make you more likely to succeed, but it may make you more likely to imbue the resolution with magic qualities that are bound to disappoint. If you’re not ready to start today, then use this week to map out a plan of action.

3.Frame it in the Positive

It's much more effective and far more palatable to frame your resolution as adding to your life, rather than taking away from it. For example, it may feel more pleasant to think about adding more time outside playing with your kids as a resolution rather than committing to watching less television.

4. Be Specific

Instead of setting a vague or general resolution such as “I will be healthy this year,” be concrete and specific about what you mean.

5. Break Big Goals Into Smaller Steps

Instead of having one large goal, try setting a few smaller goals or try separating your larger goal into steps. Perhaps plan on achieving one step each month.

6. Make Your Goals Measurable

Make sure each resolution or each step in your overall goal is concrete and measurable so you can track your progress. Set a calendar alert so you can track your progress weekly or monthly.

7. Set Visual Reminders

Find ways to keep your resolutions top of mind. I recommend visual reminders, such as putting a sticky note on your mirror or refrigerator, or setting the background of your phone or computer screen to display your goal.

8. Be Realistic About Your Time and Capacity

Be honest with yourself about how much time you have and how committed you are to achieving the resolution. 

9. Adopt a Flexible Mindset

Life gets complicated. Don’t get overly attached to how your goal should progress, or get stuck if you need to shift gears.

10. Be Kind to Yourself

It's okay and expected to get off track. Progress is usually not linear, so don’t let a slip-up run you off the road. Find a way to acknowledge it, understand why it happened, and move forward. Self-compassion will take you a lot farther than self-judgment. 

When to Seek Support for Your New Year’s Goals

One final word. Some resolutions are particularly challenging and are unwise to embark on without assistance. For example, if you want to stop drinking, leave an unhealthy relationship, or work on your mental health, please seek professional help so you are safe and well supported. You can always reach out to our practice for support. 

Author

About Dr. Emma Basch | Washington, DC Psychologist

Dr. Emma Basch is a licensed psychologist in Washington, DC specializing in perinatal mental health, anxiety, life transitions, and supporting individuals who want to cultivate healthier boundaries and more sustainable emotional well-being. Her approach is warm, grounded, and collaborative, helping clients build skills that support a more aligned and empowered life.

Dr. Basch is currently accepting new clients and welcomes individuals seeking compassionate, evidence-based support through the holiday season and beyond.